continued -->I've been checking all my links because, as I'm sure you can imagine, a whole shitload of them are stale or simply gone. I came across ColorGenics and naturally had to take the test. This one says "see yourself as others see you". I was skeptical but it's so dead-on as to how I see myself I just had to share. So, without further ado, here is how others see me:
You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.
You are trying to prove yourself - not only to yourself but also to everyone around you. There is much that you would like to say and do but the situation warrants self-restraint and that is the last thing that you have on your mind. It would seem that you have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to stand out from the crowd. This is subjecting you to considerable stress but you tend to stick to your attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Of course, you are finding the situation uncomfortable and would like nothing better but to break away from it but you don't like the idea of compromise. Your main problem is that you are unable to resolve the situation because you continually postpone making the necessary decisions. You feel that if you make the wrong choice this would lead to such opposition that you would not be able to command the esteem of others. It is essential that those around you are prepared to comply with your wishes.
Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict - conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.
Now there are many things in life that you require as essential to your well-being but, try as you may, something always seems to be getting in your way. A word of advice - 'keep trying' and you may be pleasantly surprised to see just how matters turn out.
Labels: Life or Something Like It
||
0 comments
continued -->Greetings readers,
Yes, I've been gone way too long. I'm not going to apologize or offer any excuses except to say this public forum is beginning to make me feel a bit constrained. I don't feel I can truly reveal all the confessions I need to share. I don't know if I can continue.
A lot of things have changed in the six odd months since my last post ... there's a new president and the economy's in the toilet. Winter is raging here on the North Coast and, frankly, I'm fucking sick of it ... sick of the snow, sick of the cold. Unfortunately, unless I relocate to a warmer clime, I'm pretty much screwed.
I had my monthly session with my psychiatrist today and she got me to thinking about journaling or blogging or whatever the hell this is called. I've just spent the past two hours reading my "diary" beginning in 1985 and ending in 1994. What struck me was the frankness of the entries, the no-holds-barred writing. I didn't have to worry about protecting anyone's identity or about circumventing something so as not to offend because that diary was just for me.
Perhaps I miss the joy of putting pen to paper and letting whatever comes come. Perhaps I miss the honesty. Perhaps I miss the freeness of not having to censor myself. Who the fuck knows?! Do I throw caution to the wind, say fuck it, and write what I want to and to hell with the consequences or do I continue as before? I only know of one person who checks this, or at least used to, so what am I so damned afraid of?? Am I afraid of being judged? I don't know who reads this. Am I afraid you won't like me? Again, I don't know you so why do I care if you like me or not?
Obviously, I'm very conflicted here and don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Hopefully, more later!Labels: Life or Something Like It
||
0 comments
continued -->I've been MIA for over six months!!! What the fuck was I thinking? Well, obviously, I wasn't thinking. It seems I don't have the energy to get me through the day let alone sit here and spew crap for you, my loyal reader.
In a nutshell, life's been busy as hell but I was compelled to log on and write because of the unexpected death of Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs-Jones (OH-D).
I'm not a big politico. Actually, politics makes me want to puke but Ms. Tubbs-Jones was a pioneer and deserves to be remembered for all she accomplished both in the City of Cleveland and on Capitol Hill. You can find a list of her accomplishments on her personal website and probably a bunch of other places on the Web. It's worth the time to read about her. She is a force that will be missed.
I'm not gonna blow sunshine up your ass and promise to write again soon. All I can say is I'll be back!Labels: Remembrance, SSDD
||
0 comments
continued -->Well, we're some 43 days into 2008 and this is the first time I'm posting in over four months. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and that this year is shaping up to be far better than 2007.
So, what's on my mind? Lots of shit. The weather fucking sucks. We're slated for over six inches of snow throughout the day and more this evening. Combined with bone-chilling, below zero temps, it ain't fit for man nor beast out there.
The presidential election isn't for another nine months but I'm sick and tired of the fucking politics already. The lot of them are a bunch of con artists telling us what they think we want to hear. Once they're in office, you know they ain't gonna do shit. We'll still have troops in Iraq. We'll still be looking at record numbers of foreclosures. We'll still be struggling to eek out a living.
In my personal life, I'm still woodturning although not with the confidence I had last year and I don't know why. I've got to get back into the groove and find my muse or I'm gonna go crazy.
I adopted a cat, or rather he adopted me, about a month after Woody died. He's a grey and white Hemingway, which means he's got extra toes. We're still getting used to each other but it's better to have him here than to come home to an empty house each night.
After being on television for three seasons, I've fallen in love with House, M.D. on Fox. There's something incredibly sexy about Hugh Laurie but don't ask me what it is because I don't have a fucking clue.
Well, that's about it for the moment. Don't know when I'll be back but I WILL be back!Labels: SSDD, World Events
||
1 comments
continued -->As you can see, I haven't posted in over four months. I missed the Fourth of July holiday, the anniversary of 9/11, the anniversary of my dad's passing and, well, most of the damned summer.
Most of my free time has been spent woodturning. I get so much satisfaction (usually) from being one with the wood I forget I have a life.
So, what brought me here today. This morning my four-legged son, Woody, died. I didn't expect it but knew something was wrong. He wasn't breathing right so I rushed him to the hospital. Even before the doctor could start examining him, Woody's heart just stopped. Damn, this house is empty without the thud of his feet or the tingle of his bell.
To top it off, I haven't had any meds in over two months so I'm an emotional wreck. How am I going to go on without my little buddy? Who will love me now? Who will need me now? I know Woddy was just a freaking cat but he was MY cat. He was the reason I got up in the morning. The reason I went to work each day. He was a close to a child as I will ever get and now he's gone. LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!!Labels: Remembrance
||
1 comments
continued -->Or so it seems. I think about blogging every day but don't seem to have the energy or the words.
2007 is shaping up to be the year from hell. Grandpa passing in February started it all. I've taken more time off so far this year than I can ever remember taking off so soon in the year before. I just can't get fucking motivated to do much of anything but wood turning. I treasure each moment in front of the lathe; treasure each moment my mind quiets and my problems drift away.
When I'm not at the lathe, I'm either reading or crocheting. I'm restless. I'm uncomfortable with my own company. I'm even less comfortable with other people. I haven't been as involved with MS as in previous years. I did get a chance to see one of his March performances but nothing since. I haven't even emailed him about the lyrics for his new CD, due to be released sometime in August.
I want so much to just be left alone with my lathe, my books, my music and the occasional television show. I want to retreat from the world and just be by myself. I can completely understand how rich, successful people decide one day to chuck it all and live on the streets. I don't think I'd ever go that far but the thought is tempting.
I'd like to thank my faithful visitors - Magdala, Colette and Angel. I'm not going to make promises I can't keep. Know I'll try to blog more often. Actually, sitting here at Black Rock, listening to MS while I blog feels pretty damned good!
ADDENDUM: Thank you Tina for the lovely comment and, indeed, a big thank you to all you lurkers!Labels: Misc
||
1 comments
continued -->I've got two months of shit to talk about however the Imus debacle begs for my attention.
On April 6, 2007, shock jock Don Imus referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hoes" during his radio show. From what I've read, the comment was off-the-cuff with no intended malice and he's apologized for being an "idiot". As a result of this heinous verbal slip, Imus was fired by CBS and MSNBC on April 12, 2007.
Before I proceed, I am not now, nor have I ever been a racist. Have I used racial slurs? Yes, as a matter of fact, I have but that doesn't make me a racist. An asshole? Perhaps but by no means a racist.
The hypersensitive nature in the world today began on February 1, 2004 when during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson's naked breast to a live audience. According to Wikipedia, 200,000 Americans called CBS to complain about the indecent exposure during a "family" event. After this landmark incident, it seems everyone's asshole puckered up tight and the tiniest criticism, slur, etc. sends everyone into a tizzy.
Can someone please tell me a) when the First Amendment of the Constitution was repealed and b) when political correctness began. If you've never read the Constitution, the amendment reads as follows:"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Any normal person knows not to cry "FIRE" in a crowded theatre as that one word would incite mass panic resulting in injury or death but if someone calls me a "fat ass", I brush it off and move on. Are my feelings hurt? Hell yes but I'm not going to make a damned federal case of it.
When did Americans become so thin-skinned? Why are Americans so damned uptight about everything from language to religion to politics to sex? America is the most dysfunctional country on the fucking planet. The pisser is this idiotic political correctness is a means of "protecting the children". Give me a fucking break. I'd be willing to bet most of today's children have seen and heard far worse than they'll ever see or hear on television or the radio. And, have you noticed the Reverend Al Sharpton and the Reverend Jesse Jackson are ALWAYS at the forefront of this crusade. When were they appointed the protectors of the African-American people?
Without a doubt, African-Americans have been treated like shit since the moment the first ship brought them to America to slave their lives away. "Whitey" used them to plow the fields, clean the homes, cook the meals, tend to the children and probably more horrendous things. Female slaves were raped violently and repeatedly, often bearing mixed children the white fathers wanted nothing to do with. I am not a black historian, nor have I (or my ancestors) suffered through anything that could compare with the degradation, humiliation and abuse the African-Americans suffered. But people of the world have suffered their own humiliation, degradation and abuse for centuries.
But Imus isn't the only one causing waves. Rosie O'Donnell of The View has been "speaking out of turn" as well. From 9-11 conspiracies to religion to the Donald, Rosie calls 'em like she sees 'em. I'm not a Rosie fan but the woman's got guts. More people should speak up instead of keeping their true thoughts and feelings at bay in order to avoid upsetting someone.
Walking on eggshells sucks!! Worrying that every time you open your mouth you could be fired or sued or whatever sucks, too!! Prefacing every comment before saying something sucks!! Generally, people suck!!
When are we going to tuck in our skirts and suck it up? When are we going to realize we don't live in Utopia? When are we going to realize no one is owed anything? When are we going to realize shit happens and get the fuck over it already?
I'm a fat, four-eyed, short woman who cusses like a sailor, watches porn and fucks when she can, whose had her heart and feelings crushed time and time again. I don't cry about it. I live my life by my rules and my code of ethics. If you don't like it, fuck off!
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong ...Labels: World Events